Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Week 1 thought for YLC 2017
You are receiving for the first of what I hope to be a weekly quote and thought to you. Do you have to read it? Do you have to answer questions on it? Do you have to take what is here and put it into your daily life? The answer is No. You don't have to care about it or read it or answer any questions or even make it something more than it is. But I believe that if you just spend a couple of moments in your week thinking about it, you may just find something to get out of it.
So to Number 1 of the Year (Look at the attached image for the Context)
Dr. Seuss was an amazing author. During his senior year at Dartmouth College, Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss) and nine of his friends were caught drinking gin in his room. This was the spring of 1925, and the dean put them all on probation for violating the laws of Prohibition. He also stripped Geisel of his editorship of Jack-O-Lantern the colleges humour magazine where Ted published his cartoons. To evade punishment, Ted Geisel began publishing cartoons under aliases: L. Pasteur, D.G. Rossetti 25, T. Seuss, and Seuss. These cartoons mark the first time he signed his work Seuss.
As a magazine cartoonist, he began signing his work under the mock-scholarly title of Dr. Theophrastus Seuss in 1927. He shortened that to Dr. Seuss in 1928. In acquiring his professional pseudonym, he also gained a new pronunciation. Most Americans pronounce the name Soose, and not Zoice. And thats how Ted Geisel became Dr. Seuss. In 1955, Dartmouth gave him his first honorary doctorate. He would eventually receive several more honorary degrees, including one from Princeton. By pursuing his love of drawing, Ted Geisel became one of the few people to earn a Ph.D. by dropping out of graduate school. (Source: www.suessville.com)
So you might say so what? He is famous and I'm just a kid.
I want to share a secret about life with you.
In life it is not the academic results that necessarily grant you success. Success is what you measure it to be. For me Success is achieving the things in life I strive for and feeling a sense that I have learnt something new. It is also not your teachers that will make an opportunity just work for you. It is your brains, your journey to greatness and in the end your decisions in which way you lead life that will give to you all of the things you aim for.
If you want great, work towards great! Don't blame others if you don't put the effort in.
You have Brains and you have Feet! Move towards where you want to go and we will support you all the way to achieve greatness.
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Two very important things to remember!
TWO VERY IMPORTANT REMINDERS (from a very important discussion and self reflection):
Even when the mirror is smashed, the individual smashed pieces are still complete mirrors that allow us to see the perfect reflection even when the repaired mirror would still be distorted..
And
Doors are opened and shut in life not by us but by the creator of life and the universe (whatever you want to believe that is. For me it is God of the Christian faith). We can walk through the open door but only if it is unlocked. If it is locked it is not for us. If it is unlocked, it might still not be the room we choose to live in (our destiny) but when we leave, it is only our choice if we leave the experience there and let it be, or take it on as baggage and carry it with us.
Even when the mirror is smashed, the individual smashed pieces are still complete mirrors that allow us to see the perfect reflection even when the repaired mirror would still be distorted..
And
Doors are opened and shut in life not by us but by the creator of life and the universe (whatever you want to believe that is. For me it is God of the Christian faith). We can walk through the open door but only if it is unlocked. If it is locked it is not for us. If it is unlocked, it might still not be the room we choose to live in (our destiny) but when we leave, it is only our choice if we leave the experience there and let it be, or take it on as baggage and carry it with us.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
It's no secret but the journey has had to be... until now!
So January 2014 was a month I am never going to forget. It wasn't the start of it all, but it was the time I sucked up my man pride and went and got help. 18 months has gone fast.
December 2013, I didn't feel right. It was an easy answer too, You are Medically Exhausted I was told!
It didn't take Einstein to work out why. One look at my self imposed schedule demonstrated why. It was the first time however that I truly stopped and looked at the diary and said out loud "what am I doing"?
But let me fill in the month.
Personally, I was slowly spiraling to my diagnosis and I was so in denial about it all that I just put it on the too hard to think about shelf. I was told that my once in a lifetime dream trip to play at Disney and the Rose bowl parade and other tour spots was in real jeopardy because the tank was on empty and the body was pretty much in limp mode. I refused to accept that and told the doctor my thoughts on the issue, but soldier on I did (this will form a theme later).
The trip is still a bit of a blur! Photos and videos bring back some memories but it shows me how good I was able to smile during it all. If you know me, you will know that smiling isn't my strong point. The denial for me was to smile and pretend it was a world away. In some ways it was. I was in a suspended state of anxiety and I thought all would be good.
Fast forward to the return home. Very few people on the plane home would know that as I passed the coast of Victoria, I had what I now know was a 'minor' anxiety attack. I started to shake, get cold, feel like the world was going to collapse around me and I knew something was wrong. I was so good at hiding it I think only one of my mates saw it and almost shielded me whilst looking at me saying What is going on? Little did I know what that meant for me but let me explain it the best I can.
Here it is:
I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. Yep I have a mental health issue! In fact when I fronted up, I was a few points off an admission to hospital. That scared me a lot and still does when I think about it!
It to me is a condition and not an illness. It is a condition because sometimes it hits me hard and sometimes I bring it to the surface due to the conditions I see.
It is a choice I did not make, did not want and wished that I didn't have to live with, but it is me.
I am an artist, a thinker, an educator, a brother, a son. I am a christian and if you think that I haven't argued at length with God about why I have had to endure this, you'd be dead wrong. I went through a stage where I was so angry with God!! He waited, he listened, he told me to stop yelling.
In a crazy world though, I don't get nervous on stage. Never have and never feel anxious playing at all. But in a group or sometimes socially especially when I'm not feeling physically as strong as I should or just tired it does show. People notice something is not right and then I have to spend time trying to work out what to say......
Picture this:
There's a soft voice inside the mind that says I have control and you don't. It waits for you to not know it's there and then it connects the strings like a puppeteer and gets into position to make you feel like you have no control. Slowly but surely it controls little thoughts and patterns and slowly wears down your resilience until it finally says I'm here, and I have you exactly where you can't fight me... It lies to you so you fear it, it grabs you in such a submissive hold that as you fight it strangles you and latches on.
Other times it is like a crack of thunder. You see the lightening, but you don't know how far that storm is until you hear the thunder. It also doesn't count down to the crack, so you don't really know when it's going to happen.
or you may feel that you are the ship in the storm. You get smashed from wave to wave and you have no real control, but seas calm and sometimes it's about finding that lighthouse to focus on where that land is for you.
I cried, stressed, gave up on happiness, fought so strong it broke me down and then when I finally reached the point in which my family saw me at my weakest.. I decided to step up and face my biggest fear.
For me personally, it took away my sleep. It caused me to shake and tremor without warning. It caused me to replay events in my mind in which I had to endure watching every scenario played out. It took away my happiness and replaced it with confusion. It took away my smile and replaced it with a look of disassociation.
But most of all it took away my drive to face challenges. It made me physically sick, it 'helped' me lose weight, it showed me what was important, It made me say no. It saved me from total self destruction. Some of that actual is positives...
When I was diagnosed, I was told meds were the way to go. I have yet to actually try them. I left the doctors totally deflated about the news. When I spoke to my family about it, they saw in me the pain and they too bore some of that pain as their son, admitted that he now had to face a few hurdles to wellness. The hardest thing in my life I think was to tell my parents. I did not want to burden them and they didn't deserve to see me so deflated and disappointment. I truly felt that day that the world had let me down. I never thought Suicide or harm to myself.. I only ever thought about kicking it's butt and making sure that it would not defeat me.
Sadly, I lost friends! It started to have a disastrous effect on my relationships with people. No more needs to be said there. They may read this and know a little more about why I was struggling, but it was one of the sad times when I realised that they couldn't support me through the tunnel.
So I made some changes.
I studied all I could about GAD and other related subjects. I found so much support in reading of elite athletes and celebrities who like me wanted the best in their lives but found a bit of a wiring issue. I found comfort in setting goals. I found a love of exercising again and nutrition. I made steps to make life changing decisions in those areas and I can say I continue to challenge myself.
You may ask why now? Why write this now?
I am writing this because I am seeing people struggle and I want them to know you're not alone and it is able to be managed.
Some days are amazing for me and some days are terrible. I have learnt to accept that. My friends now can see it and I see in them so much care and support. Some days I know that people overlook me for opportunities. I accept that, although not fair or right, they do it because they don't want to see me in a bad state I guess. That is life though: You don't get every chance because life can't always work that way.
I soldier on, not because of an attitude that can be resilient, but because in my mind I cannot let this control me. I will fight for my right to be happy and by living with this condition, I will learn the enemy and how to overcome it.
If you are reading this and facing this reality. Please seek the help you need, please know that the friends that leave reveal the friends that matter and when it is at it's worst, know that you can be at your best when the storm passes.
December 2013, I didn't feel right. It was an easy answer too, You are Medically Exhausted I was told!
It didn't take Einstein to work out why. One look at my self imposed schedule demonstrated why. It was the first time however that I truly stopped and looked at the diary and said out loud "what am I doing"?
But let me fill in the month.
Personally, I was slowly spiraling to my diagnosis and I was so in denial about it all that I just put it on the too hard to think about shelf. I was told that my once in a lifetime dream trip to play at Disney and the Rose bowl parade and other tour spots was in real jeopardy because the tank was on empty and the body was pretty much in limp mode. I refused to accept that and told the doctor my thoughts on the issue, but soldier on I did (this will form a theme later).
The trip is still a bit of a blur! Photos and videos bring back some memories but it shows me how good I was able to smile during it all. If you know me, you will know that smiling isn't my strong point. The denial for me was to smile and pretend it was a world away. In some ways it was. I was in a suspended state of anxiety and I thought all would be good.
Fast forward to the return home. Very few people on the plane home would know that as I passed the coast of Victoria, I had what I now know was a 'minor' anxiety attack. I started to shake, get cold, feel like the world was going to collapse around me and I knew something was wrong. I was so good at hiding it I think only one of my mates saw it and almost shielded me whilst looking at me saying What is going on? Little did I know what that meant for me but let me explain it the best I can.
Here it is:
I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. Yep I have a mental health issue! In fact when I fronted up, I was a few points off an admission to hospital. That scared me a lot and still does when I think about it!
It to me is a condition and not an illness. It is a condition because sometimes it hits me hard and sometimes I bring it to the surface due to the conditions I see.
It is a choice I did not make, did not want and wished that I didn't have to live with, but it is me.
I am an artist, a thinker, an educator, a brother, a son. I am a christian and if you think that I haven't argued at length with God about why I have had to endure this, you'd be dead wrong. I went through a stage where I was so angry with God!! He waited, he listened, he told me to stop yelling.
In a crazy world though, I don't get nervous on stage. Never have and never feel anxious playing at all. But in a group or sometimes socially especially when I'm not feeling physically as strong as I should or just tired it does show. People notice something is not right and then I have to spend time trying to work out what to say......
Picture this:
There's a soft voice inside the mind that says I have control and you don't. It waits for you to not know it's there and then it connects the strings like a puppeteer and gets into position to make you feel like you have no control. Slowly but surely it controls little thoughts and patterns and slowly wears down your resilience until it finally says I'm here, and I have you exactly where you can't fight me... It lies to you so you fear it, it grabs you in such a submissive hold that as you fight it strangles you and latches on.
Other times it is like a crack of thunder. You see the lightening, but you don't know how far that storm is until you hear the thunder. It also doesn't count down to the crack, so you don't really know when it's going to happen.
or you may feel that you are the ship in the storm. You get smashed from wave to wave and you have no real control, but seas calm and sometimes it's about finding that lighthouse to focus on where that land is for you.
I cried, stressed, gave up on happiness, fought so strong it broke me down and then when I finally reached the point in which my family saw me at my weakest.. I decided to step up and face my biggest fear.
For me personally, it took away my sleep. It caused me to shake and tremor without warning. It caused me to replay events in my mind in which I had to endure watching every scenario played out. It took away my happiness and replaced it with confusion. It took away my smile and replaced it with a look of disassociation.
But most of all it took away my drive to face challenges. It made me physically sick, it 'helped' me lose weight, it showed me what was important, It made me say no. It saved me from total self destruction. Some of that actual is positives...
When I was diagnosed, I was told meds were the way to go. I have yet to actually try them. I left the doctors totally deflated about the news. When I spoke to my family about it, they saw in me the pain and they too bore some of that pain as their son, admitted that he now had to face a few hurdles to wellness. The hardest thing in my life I think was to tell my parents. I did not want to burden them and they didn't deserve to see me so deflated and disappointment. I truly felt that day that the world had let me down. I never thought Suicide or harm to myself.. I only ever thought about kicking it's butt and making sure that it would not defeat me.
Sadly, I lost friends! It started to have a disastrous effect on my relationships with people. No more needs to be said there. They may read this and know a little more about why I was struggling, but it was one of the sad times when I realised that they couldn't support me through the tunnel.
So I made some changes.
I studied all I could about GAD and other related subjects. I found so much support in reading of elite athletes and celebrities who like me wanted the best in their lives but found a bit of a wiring issue. I found comfort in setting goals. I found a love of exercising again and nutrition. I made steps to make life changing decisions in those areas and I can say I continue to challenge myself.
You may ask why now? Why write this now?
I am writing this because I am seeing people struggle and I want them to know you're not alone and it is able to be managed.
Some days are amazing for me and some days are terrible. I have learnt to accept that. My friends now can see it and I see in them so much care and support. Some days I know that people overlook me for opportunities. I accept that, although not fair or right, they do it because they don't want to see me in a bad state I guess. That is life though: You don't get every chance because life can't always work that way.
I soldier on, not because of an attitude that can be resilient, but because in my mind I cannot let this control me. I will fight for my right to be happy and by living with this condition, I will learn the enemy and how to overcome it.
If you are reading this and facing this reality. Please seek the help you need, please know that the friends that leave reveal the friends that matter and when it is at it's worst, know that you can be at your best when the storm passes.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Spot where you miss what's right in front of you....
Ever been in a spot where you feel so relaxed but also feel like you are not seeing something right in front of you? I think I am in that spot.
It's a weird spot to be in. I guess in some ways it's what you would expect when you knowingly shut your eyes to the world around you. But I have to say that maybe the blindness is either protecting me or just making me more aware of a wider scope.
Interesting quick thought.
It's a weird spot to be in. I guess in some ways it's what you would expect when you knowingly shut your eyes to the world around you. But I have to say that maybe the blindness is either protecting me or just making me more aware of a wider scope.
Interesting quick thought.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Bye 2014
So I am sitting in the dark, home from the parties, alone and ready to plan out my new year. It's just the way I thought it would be. That's ok! I need it to be this way.
2014! The year I will try and be positive by calling it my journey year. In essence it would be seen by me on any other day of the year a terrible nightmare of a year. I am going to look at it through the lens of positive thinking for one reason. That reason is journey.
I started the year in a foreign country! Awesome idea in a perfect world. For me, my mind was scared and confused about something I didn't know about, understand or care to sort out. The hidden monster that was my mind at the time was preparing to strike me as hard as it could and I never saw it properly through the busy life I lead. I got home and found myself in a war with myself. The issue is that when the enemy knows you so well, you have to be ready to submit to fighting out of it at all costs.
I did so and along the journey this year I found fragments of love, in hindsight, they were always fragments, fragments of an already broken mirror that really distorted reality. These fragments still cut deep sometimes but you have to deal with that wound.
I also took up fitness and have dropped some serious Kg's this year. I look at doing more of this in 2015 but not for anyone else. Just for me. If people knew how much some words cut deep, they may understand why I am so focused.
I won't name people in this post, but some will not be as close to me as they were in 2014. I'm sorry to those people. I know that at the time there is fault on both sides, but I guess it's easy to run when either people don't/can't bend to your every wish or it gets a little tougher to help someone else out when they are down. It's OK, I get it and so will you. Please accept my thanks for what you have done. Sometimes seasons change and so do friendships.
Lastly, I will say this 2015: The year to find and love me! No one else has ownership of this journey of my own self discovery!!
2014! The year I will try and be positive by calling it my journey year. In essence it would be seen by me on any other day of the year a terrible nightmare of a year. I am going to look at it through the lens of positive thinking for one reason. That reason is journey.
I started the year in a foreign country! Awesome idea in a perfect world. For me, my mind was scared and confused about something I didn't know about, understand or care to sort out. The hidden monster that was my mind at the time was preparing to strike me as hard as it could and I never saw it properly through the busy life I lead. I got home and found myself in a war with myself. The issue is that when the enemy knows you so well, you have to be ready to submit to fighting out of it at all costs.
I did so and along the journey this year I found fragments of love, in hindsight, they were always fragments, fragments of an already broken mirror that really distorted reality. These fragments still cut deep sometimes but you have to deal with that wound.
I also took up fitness and have dropped some serious Kg's this year. I look at doing more of this in 2015 but not for anyone else. Just for me. If people knew how much some words cut deep, they may understand why I am so focused.
I won't name people in this post, but some will not be as close to me as they were in 2014. I'm sorry to those people. I know that at the time there is fault on both sides, but I guess it's easy to run when either people don't/can't bend to your every wish or it gets a little tougher to help someone else out when they are down. It's OK, I get it and so will you. Please accept my thanks for what you have done. Sometimes seasons change and so do friendships.
Lastly, I will say this 2015: The year to find and love me! No one else has ownership of this journey of my own self discovery!!
Friday, November 21, 2014
So I had my wisdom teeth out on Wednesday. Just a few weeks earlier than planned. But what has it made me do... Well stop! It has made me stop.
Some would say that's great. The reality is that all it has done is made me think. Sometimes way to much about what I don't need to and some time has been spent maybe getting some clarity.
The season that I've been living in seems to be still strongly holding on. I am slowing trying to live during the storms and struggles but I long for a season of pure blessings.
I need to evaluate my life and it's purpose. I need to maybe make the decisions that others are scared to make and maybe at the end of it, I need to own what is mine and what is not.
My heart is in a weird place as I journey. Changes are coming, doors are going to close soon and I know that some will open but I need to be in the hallway, having my eyes open to what is going to open. I trust that.. I just don't know if I have the patience right now. I need to find that patience.
Some would say that's great. The reality is that all it has done is made me think. Sometimes way to much about what I don't need to and some time has been spent maybe getting some clarity.
The season that I've been living in seems to be still strongly holding on. I am slowing trying to live during the storms and struggles but I long for a season of pure blessings.
I need to evaluate my life and it's purpose. I need to maybe make the decisions that others are scared to make and maybe at the end of it, I need to own what is mine and what is not.
My heart is in a weird place as I journey. Changes are coming, doors are going to close soon and I know that some will open but I need to be in the hallway, having my eyes open to what is going to open. I trust that.. I just don't know if I have the patience right now. I need to find that patience.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Confusion and Hope
So this week marks another time in my life where I reflect. 10 months ago I was diagnosed with Anxiety. A condition of my life that I am still trying to grasp. I was told by many to keep it silent and not say anything because some people would not get it and understand.
In 22 days, I get my wisdom teeth out. Again not a significant thing for most but I have a point of saying this. When I went to the dentist, people were very supportive of me having to have the teeth out. People were so compassionate about the pain I must be feeling or how I must be coping with the issues associated with the pain and discomfort. So what is different?
It's the issue of acceptance. People will allow themselves to be who they want to be by accepting what they want to accept. Some are scared of the unseen because they can't qualify it.
It's interesting to not though that I see many aspects of my life where I do the exact same thing.
What am I confused about?
Simple. That I will one day look back and realise that life is teaching me some very valuable lessons.
- Taking a risk on someone or something
- Taking a chance on a dream without failing.
- Realising that I am far less perfect than my imperfections show and knowing that most of that is beyond my control.
- Knowing that I will never be good enough for some but want to still at least try.
Simple. That I will one day look back and realise that life is teaching me some very valuable lessons.
Monday, August 18, 2014
4 months to go
2014: The year that I'm going to be happy to see the end of! I know that people keep on saying to me "Don, there is 4 months to go, don't write off the year yet!"
I'm not writing it off, I'm writing it in. I am using this year as the year that I learn more about who I am and what I need to focus on! I just want it to end.
It's not a nightmare, it's just a bad dream that has little amazing experiences hidden in it.
I am what I am! Anxiety has taught me one thing in the last nine months. I am incredible conscious of the world and how I live in it. I am incredibly humbled by my own insecurities and I'm incredibly thankful for amazing people that I have looking out for me.
So I am writing a story, and maybe some people will be surprised when they read it.
I'm not writing it off, I'm writing it in. I am using this year as the year that I learn more about who I am and what I need to focus on! I just want it to end.
It's not a nightmare, it's just a bad dream that has little amazing experiences hidden in it.
I am what I am! Anxiety has taught me one thing in the last nine months. I am incredible conscious of the world and how I live in it. I am incredibly humbled by my own insecurities and I'm incredibly thankful for amazing people that I have looking out for me.
So I am writing a story, and maybe some people will be surprised when they read it.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
VALE Frank Whitecross: My First Music Teacher
Sadness showed it's way in a calm sense of peace yesterday. It was the peace that comes from knowing that someone who has meant so much to me has finally found peace and has met his beloved heavenly father.
Many years ago, in fact over 25 years ago now, Frank or Mr Whitecross as we all called him, sat with me and my cornet and patiently taught me the lines and spaces of notation, the length of notes and the language that has become more important to me than English itself. This language has allowed me to express way more of my thoughts than the thousands of English words that are in my vocabulary could never do.
I have known that this day would come and I think that for a long time I have thought about the struggle for Mr Whitecross for the last few years and his wonderful amazing wife Shirley and family.
I want to give you an insight of just what he meant to me in those early years and what he will mean to me for my future.
When I was a boy, he saw in me potential. He called me Duck. One of the few people that would get away with calling me that. I loved the way that he did so with a smile and his passion and patience showed me about how you could teach and also smile when things didn't always work. His first lesson to me off the instrument was when he said to me "Duck whatever you play, always play for God". Those words would serve me well into my later music life as I searched for meaning in what I did and also how I would decide what to play and what not to play.
He was Humble! I mean super humble. I never heard him ask for recognition. He avoided it. He didn't need the recognition because he had something more valuable. God's Favour and most of all the respect of 100's of people who he had either worked with or taught how to play.
He led the Mildura Salvation Army band for over 25 years. I think it may be officially 26 but that is as long as I have been playing and since then, we have had 3 other conductors. I'm the current one (third) and as the band gets smaller those memories of how he crafted the band still resonate with everyone. I first joined the senior band on 2nd Cornet and sat next to some amazing people under Mr Whitecross' Baton. This was doubled by still learning the music and playing solos with the band and by myself. My first solo was a peace called Prepare me. It was a simple song but we worked on it until it was ready and when I stood to play it as a very young boy at the Sunday School Anniversary, Mr Whitecross stood behind me and calmed my nerves, told me I could do it and stood there whilst I played those first notes. That moment started a journey that has not stopped and has taken me all over the world.
He wrote solos, gave up time and most of all continued to encouraged me on my journey long after he retired from Conducting.
He also had a prank side and carols was one of those unique opportunities to let them fly. I will never forget cruising around Mildura in the back of a dump truck playing to many many people. We would climb the ladder and cruise playing out of the green carol books in a green truck (red was the original one I believe) for hours and on the odd occasion hang on as the dumper would start lifting (as you do).
He played a beautiful Euphonium but never wanted to be the spotlight and would just play his part and let the world appreciate others for their amazing technique. He was not a teach because he can't do person, because he made a choice to let others shine.
What does it mean to me now.
Mr Whitecross has been on my mind ever since I launched into my career. Those simple words of 'Always play for God' have sometimes been lost in the words of the world, but I always come back to that simple phrase. Life was not easy in the last few years and Seeing Frank tap or conduct to my playing always brought a smile to my face. I never really spent as much time as I would of loved to with him, but illness took a hold of him and life took a hold of me. They say that in life you meet people that truly inspire you to be a better person. I will never be able to express in words what Mr Whitecross really meant to me. This is hugely because there are no words. He started me on a journey and saw potential. He made making music and playing an enjoyable lesson on the wider part of life and what it meant to be a person of integrity and honour to the gifts that are given to us by God.
I have been blessed to meet a person who is much as a hero to me as any prominent person that I have had the fortune to met.
Mr Whitecross is a true legend of humbleness and he's legacy to me is that it's not about the notes on a page but the passion and reason for playing.
I took a moment last night to listen to some of the old hymns that we used to play as a junior band. Some of those hymns; I am Praying, I surrender all, My Saviours Love, Europe, Peace Perfect Peace, Toplady, Rock of Ages, Amazing Grace and many others took me back and in reflection, mean more to me now than back then. So I will leave you with this thought.
A person who gives up their spotlight for others to shine is a brighter light than anything else because they allow their light to light the path for others to find the fuse.
Mr Frank Whitecross you were Promoted to Glory and have left this world. I know that when you reach the gates, they will open, you will be called and you will hear the immortal words; Go forth good and faithful servant. You are now at rest!
Many years ago, in fact over 25 years ago now, Frank or Mr Whitecross as we all called him, sat with me and my cornet and patiently taught me the lines and spaces of notation, the length of notes and the language that has become more important to me than English itself. This language has allowed me to express way more of my thoughts than the thousands of English words that are in my vocabulary could never do.
I have known that this day would come and I think that for a long time I have thought about the struggle for Mr Whitecross for the last few years and his wonderful amazing wife Shirley and family.
I want to give you an insight of just what he meant to me in those early years and what he will mean to me for my future.
When I was a boy, he saw in me potential. He called me Duck. One of the few people that would get away with calling me that. I loved the way that he did so with a smile and his passion and patience showed me about how you could teach and also smile when things didn't always work. His first lesson to me off the instrument was when he said to me "Duck whatever you play, always play for God". Those words would serve me well into my later music life as I searched for meaning in what I did and also how I would decide what to play and what not to play.
He was Humble! I mean super humble. I never heard him ask for recognition. He avoided it. He didn't need the recognition because he had something more valuable. God's Favour and most of all the respect of 100's of people who he had either worked with or taught how to play.
He led the Mildura Salvation Army band for over 25 years. I think it may be officially 26 but that is as long as I have been playing and since then, we have had 3 other conductors. I'm the current one (third) and as the band gets smaller those memories of how he crafted the band still resonate with everyone. I first joined the senior band on 2nd Cornet and sat next to some amazing people under Mr Whitecross' Baton. This was doubled by still learning the music and playing solos with the band and by myself. My first solo was a peace called Prepare me. It was a simple song but we worked on it until it was ready and when I stood to play it as a very young boy at the Sunday School Anniversary, Mr Whitecross stood behind me and calmed my nerves, told me I could do it and stood there whilst I played those first notes. That moment started a journey that has not stopped and has taken me all over the world.
He wrote solos, gave up time and most of all continued to encouraged me on my journey long after he retired from Conducting.
He also had a prank side and carols was one of those unique opportunities to let them fly. I will never forget cruising around Mildura in the back of a dump truck playing to many many people. We would climb the ladder and cruise playing out of the green carol books in a green truck (red was the original one I believe) for hours and on the odd occasion hang on as the dumper would start lifting (as you do).
He played a beautiful Euphonium but never wanted to be the spotlight and would just play his part and let the world appreciate others for their amazing technique. He was not a teach because he can't do person, because he made a choice to let others shine.
What does it mean to me now.
Mr Whitecross has been on my mind ever since I launched into my career. Those simple words of 'Always play for God' have sometimes been lost in the words of the world, but I always come back to that simple phrase. Life was not easy in the last few years and Seeing Frank tap or conduct to my playing always brought a smile to my face. I never really spent as much time as I would of loved to with him, but illness took a hold of him and life took a hold of me. They say that in life you meet people that truly inspire you to be a better person. I will never be able to express in words what Mr Whitecross really meant to me. This is hugely because there are no words. He started me on a journey and saw potential. He made making music and playing an enjoyable lesson on the wider part of life and what it meant to be a person of integrity and honour to the gifts that are given to us by God.
I have been blessed to meet a person who is much as a hero to me as any prominent person that I have had the fortune to met.
Mr Whitecross is a true legend of humbleness and he's legacy to me is that it's not about the notes on a page but the passion and reason for playing.
I took a moment last night to listen to some of the old hymns that we used to play as a junior band. Some of those hymns; I am Praying, I surrender all, My Saviours Love, Europe, Peace Perfect Peace, Toplady, Rock of Ages, Amazing Grace and many others took me back and in reflection, mean more to me now than back then. So I will leave you with this thought.
A person who gives up their spotlight for others to shine is a brighter light than anything else because they allow their light to light the path for others to find the fuse.
Mr Frank Whitecross you were Promoted to Glory and have left this world. I know that when you reach the gates, they will open, you will be called and you will hear the immortal words; Go forth good and faithful servant. You are now at rest!
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