So I had my wisdom teeth out on Wednesday. Just a few weeks earlier than planned. But what has it made me do... Well stop! It has made me stop.

Some would say that's great. The reality is that all it has done is made me think. Sometimes way to much about what I don't need to and some time has been spent maybe getting some clarity.

The season that I've been living in seems to be still strongly holding on. I am slowing trying to live during the storms and struggles but I long for a season of pure blessings.

I need to evaluate my life and it's purpose. I need to maybe make the decisions that others are scared to make and maybe at the end of it, I need to own what is mine and what is not.

My heart is in a weird place as I journey. Changes are coming, doors are going to close soon and I know that some will open but I need to be in the hallway, having my eyes open to what is going to open. I trust that.. I just don't know if I have the patience right now. I need to find that patience.

Confusion and Hope

So this week marks another time in my life where I reflect. 10 months ago I was diagnosed with Anxiety. A condition of my life that I am still trying to grasp. I was told by many to keep it silent and not say anything because some people would not get it and understand.

 

In 22 days, I get my wisdom teeth out. Again not a significant thing for most but I have a point of saying this. When I went to the dentist, people were very supportive of me having to have the teeth out. People were so compassionate about the pain I must be feeling or how I must be coping with the issues associated with the pain and discomfort. So what is different?

 

It's the issue of acceptance. People will allow themselves to be who they want to be by accepting what they want to accept. Some are scared of the unseen because they can't qualify it.

 

It's interesting to not though that I see many aspects of my life where I do the exact same thing.

 

What am I confused about?

 

• Taking a risk on someone or something
• Taking a chance on a dream without failing.
• Realising that I am far less perfect than my imperfections show and knowing that most of that is beyond my control.
• Knowing that I will never be good enough for some but want to still at least try.

What are my hopes?


Simple. That I will one day look back and realise that life is teaching me some very valuable lessons.