Well as I sit here in Calabasa California on NYE at 9:38am. I am thinking of the friends and family back home. As I'm on the other side of the world, my wall has been filled with many Happy New Year resolutions and well wishes to everyone. Maybe it's just me or maybe it's just the way things are, but I still struggle to care to much about resolutions made often in the moment.
My year has many ups and downs.
Last year I wrote this:
I am going to be more patient with what I
think I am looking at doing and I'm going to see what doors open and
shut. I have been thinking a lot lately about the transition in my life
from childhood to who I am. In many ways I am a very different person,
in both attitude and passion. One thing that has never changed is a
passion for doing the best I can with what I have been given. There is a
time and a place for everything. I cannot imagine what is going on in
front of me when it comes to do with life. Maybe I'll get bowled over by
some amazing person and my world will flip upside down, maybe I'll take
on some more travel and adventure, maybe nothing much will change and
I'll just continue walking down the road taking everything in.... I
don't know and right now it's about being thankful for what I have, who I
have become and what I can be in the future through living the life
that I lead.
So what happened.......
Well patience is something I am still working hard on. I have looked at life differently this year and know that the issue is often my pace that I live life. Something to continue to work towards but I know it will take time.
I did meet a couple of amazing people this year. I guess some things just become more complicated when you go out on a limb and take a chance. Sometimes I wish sometimes that I was a totally different person in many ways, but it is what it is and I'm learning to accept that my life will probably not give me all that I want, not because of who I am but more because people won't or can't see the person that I am and can be if given the chance. The three words "I Love You" may have been said, but in reality their were not heard. That is something that is hard to read and even write but I guess in life that is what happens. You take a risk and their is always a chance of failure. It's not all gloom and doom but it's not what I hoped for.
2013 has been a rollercoaster of a year and towards the end of it, I have really struggled with what life is chucking my way. I am so unsettled, which is so rare for me. I have been confused, angry, hurt, sad, exhausted and drained. My body has had to deal with the rigours of life and my mind has had to deal with the heart. Losing people who are close is never easy. I lost people close to me and for some reason my life is now showing me the concerns that I have to face as 2014.
To my readers, please take time to sit and talk to people and love life for what it is. It's a crazy journey which sometimes can overwhelm us as we battle through. I know I'm not perfect and this year I have struggled more than ever to keep on top of things, but I also know that life is a journey and long is the path.
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