Surrounded by your Glory

It's nearly 1:30am and I'm looking at my computer screen not with tired eyes but with a sight on a wondrous vision in my mind.
It's amazing how the heart speaks to people and I shared wonderful conversation tonight over dinner with your friends.

The show I am writing and recording for at the moment has a nun's item. They were in need of a song as a big number for choir and I suggested a song which has always spoke to me. I can only imagine by the band MercyMe gives the image of being surrounded by God's Glory and truly kneeling in the presence of God. I can only imagine what the will be like, but I can only believe that it will be awesome (In the true sense of the word). I got the oppurtunity to fill in today for a soloist who is not well at the moment. My heart felt a stir as I sang and the words of this song seemed to really resonate with my soul today.

I even got to share somewhat of a journey over dinner. I thank God for all the people in my life.

Wow what 11 weeks can do to the body, mind and spirit

Well another term has come to and end. I know that for some people who read this they are going to say 'so what, you get 12 weeks holiday a year and you get paid well... stop whinging.'

I am not going to even grace those thoughts with a response, because really I've grown even in the last 11 weeks to be comfortable with people assuming that without realising all of the rigours of the job.

11 weeks have flown by at times, and other times have felt like I'm digging through the ground with a teaspoon to dig out my trench against the often edgy teenage population. Underscoring this has been a slow but fufilling journey. I have experienced extreme highs and extreme lows. I have learnt that I may be very resillient but even I have the frustration fuse in me and that I have to keep it in check. I have learnt the lessons of sufferers of disease and just what I should complain about. I have learnt that my life is so precious to others and that I am finding a great joy in sharing life with them.

Sometimes I forget to say no, step back and look at life.... In fact if I was truthful, it's not so much that I forget as I just don't say no...... A lesson to be learnt in this, from an expert in this field. Your mind and body knows when to stop... it's our ignorance that leads us to suffer and our pride in stopping and asking for help. We are strong in Christ not in ourselves. God wants to talk to us and guide us, not hang on while we decide to take him on a ride.

2 weeks of holidays don't exist unfortuantly. I'm off to Sweden for a couple of weeks after the holidays and thus have had to take leave without pay... a few more years yet before long service leave... Knowing me I won't take LSL and battle on... :S

I have lessons to plan, shows to play for, research to be done and most of all, time to clean up, practise heaps and imagination what the future has installed for me.... God Bless you all.

Plans and options

It's funny how no matter what you plan in life, something will pop up to challenge you so that you have to think about options.

I have looked at a lot of situations in my life recently and have determined that I have many options, many gifts and many skills in which I could trial and see what works.

I'm finding though that my searching into my own mind and heart has revealed some very important insights that I know I have always valued, but may have not always spent time focussing on their impact.

There is my generousity: I have been given so much by people in my past. Not only money or possesion, but friendship, guidance, love, kindness, respect and hospitality. It is a gift that I really feel needs to be repaid. Not necessarily to the people who were generous to me, but to others so we can keep generousity moving throughout society.

There is my judgement: I'm not perfect, but I do find that some things in my life are really sound when it comes to my thoughts and my deeds. I live those values rather than impose, but hopefully others will see it and know about how important the values of Honesty, Integrity, and sound decisions are to my life.

and then there is something that is very important; Trust.
I have had many discussions with people lately about why I do or don't have an issue with trust.
I don't have an issue with trust as much as the people who break it. It's not that I don't like the people.. I just really dislike the action.
Too many times, the trust is broken between people and rather than grace being displayed or reconcilliation happening, we are pushed into the spiral that is lies and justification for our actions. We are all vunerable to this and it is important that we keep in mind what our hearts say to us when this happens to us.

My life is always a challenge when it comes to balancing it all out. I know that options are there, and I have people that I know keep me in check and keep me moving forward. Words don't have to be written or said to know the importance of them in my life. When I've had an option to run, I've found I'm never alone and together I can fight my battles, knowing that my true friends are fighting right along beside me. With my Trust, I have faith, with my judgement comes grace and with my generousity comes Love.


What are your options in Life?

Learning to deal with Critiques

I sit in a full theatre and watch as one by one the competitors walk on stage and have their 3-5 minutes of fame, knowing all too well what their minds and bodies are doing under the stress of not only being watched, but critiqued and ranked.

It wasn't that long ago that I experienced that very feeling and the feelings of doubt and fear can only be counteracted by Practice, Preparation and Confidence.

It's a little longer though that I was doing this as a secondary student as many of the students I watched tonight were. The scary part for me is that I remember those moments like it was yesterday. I remember sitting next to friends backstage knowing that as soon as I stepped over the taped line on side stage it was game on and the best person on the day won. We would all then sit back and chill and laugh at the stupid things that we did at school or on the weekends.

I was lucky, I had and continue to have great support from my family and friends, especially my Mum and Dad. They were not like other parents who would berate their kids for making a mistake or cause a big fuss. They just sat there and enjoyed the fact that I was able to get up and provide entertainment for others and nearly always smile after it. For me it wasn't about the awards or accolades, they went to people that probably cared more than me, and for the most part I felt the judgements were fair. I do think it was for the most part, not all the time.

It's interesting that as a student I cared less about the competition and the rules as I do as a teacher. In fact, I believe that sometimes it's important to follow the letter of the law and sometimes discretion has to be used, but for the most part I thnk that sometimes the rules mean we miss the point.
It's all about caring about giving the students and competitors access to comments from a extremely qualified professional as well as a stage to learn the craft of performance. As a parent it's important to encourage and foster the skills that bring out the positive confidence but also humbleness. It's not about living in your childs spotlight but letting the child find there own to turn on and shine.

I had many memories come back to me tonight. Some brought a little smile and some a silent chuckle but those moments shaped me as a performer today and to some that's an awesome thing. To me, it's just having a good time in the presence of others. If it's you that's been there with me. Thank You!!!!!

Whirlwind and Stillness

I am once again reminded that when the storms of life are around us and we feel we can't go on, we should remember that when there is only one set of footsteps on our journey of life, THEY ARE NOT OURS!

If they were, we would be bogged in the sand and not moving forward, gliding over all that life throws at us and rising up like an eagle soaring on a mountain top.

We just have to realise that seasons come and seasons go, but our hearts need to stay focused on ETERNITY!