Just unpacking my bags

I've been really struggling lately to really get a handle and a firm grip on my life. I was away for the weekend and couldn't help but feel that something was really weighing me down.

It was in this real time of dissapointment and despair that I stumbled across this great video about baggage.

For me this was a real message from God and as the tears began to flow from my eyes it was then in that moment of clarity that I recieved the blessing of this video and also the message from God that I really needed to address this.

For months now, slowly I have been so busy that I have neglected myself and my own wellbeing. The stress of life has been so great that I really put all of my energy into making sure everyone was ok... Now is the time that I change that. The line that really stood out for me was just how much of a lie 'Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me'. The Reality is it's not just the names; it's the thoughts, the pain, the denial, the rejection, the dissapointments, the struggles the broken dreams; All of these take a little bit of our spirit away and we end up being lost, exhausted, vunerable and lonely.

I have had conversations with people where the simple question of 'How are you?' is masked with a ignorant and neglected and maybe dishonest Yes everything is fine, I'm doing well... The reality is though that each time that happened a new piece of baggage was added to my travel weight.

The illustration that comes to mind is when you collect the baggage from the carousel at the airport... If you don't touch it, it just rolls on by, it has your name on it but without picking it up it's just a labelled bag. It is when you reach and pick it up that you take that bag and own it...... For us as travellers (Ilove travelling by the way), there is a weight limit. and The importance of this is so that the plane can be balanced and correctly fuelled to make the journey. We in life don't seem to apply that so we just take more and more on until we can't move off the tarmac let alone the runway.

But the answer my friends is simple. Jesus hung on a cross, and I like to think that when he was hanging there for me, he actually said my name and said to me... Come here, I see you are tired and I see you are hurt, but I am here on this cross because I love you this much... and with his arms outstretched he then looks me in the eyes and says, give me your bags and let me carry them for you.

Is it time for you to unpack this baggage and get rid of it... There is only one way to do this and it doesn't involve wearing the bags.

www.skitguys.com/videos/item/baggage-skit

Looking for the small things in times of trouble

Well it's been a few weeks of the exhausting rollercoaster ride that is coming to terms with a family member who is suffering a mental illness.

For me this time has been a time of very deep sorrow and at times strong hope in a outcome which would be amazing and just what I expect.

The reality is for me and my family is that as we have investigated this issue further and the more tests that are done, I realise just how long in this journey there still is to go, and it's going to only become more of a burden on my mental health.

The support is amazing and as a family, it is amazing to know that people truly care and want to help. To face reality is a harsh consequence of life sometimes and it is compounded when the person doesn't think that they are sick. No one will ever probably know the cause and effects but we as a family grieve that the person we once knew is no longer her and the person they have become (even for this short time) is such a stranger to us that we live in surreal world.

I continue to be broken, sad, frustrated, hopeful and unwaining in my faith, but as the time pushes on, I am constantly asking God why this has happened and to give myself and my entire family the strength to cope.

As I try to live a 'normal' life I know that my life is far from 'normal' at the moment. I have two requests at this time... 1. Pray for my Family and if you are a close friend, feel free to skype or call and I will be happy to talk. 2. Never leave a moment in time by not telling the people you love how much you love and cherish them. One day they could be perfect, the next day you could be dealing with a situation way beyond you or anyone else's control.

Life is a struggle but God has Control

So I am facing the darkness of this world. My heart is broken and my mind is wishing that I could just rewind this life to a point where happiness and peace reigned. But as I sit and write this blog, my heart is heavy and my faith is challenged. However when I turn to Jesus and I give my all to him, I know that he carries me. I pray for my Dad tonight! He is not well. He is suffering in a way that is so hard to witness and although I know that mental health is one of things that doesn't matter until we don't have it, but for my family at this time, we are broken. God as reminded me of a wonderful promise:

6 Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. 7 Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.Philippians 4

Tonight my prayer is these words by Stanley Ditmer

1. I shall not fear though darkened clouds may gather round me;

The God I serve is one who cares and understands.

Although the storms I face would threaten to confound me,

Of this I am assured:

I'm in his hands.

Chorus

I'm in his hands,

I'm in his hands;

Whate'er the future holds

I'm in his hands,

The days I cannot see

Have all been planned for me;

His way is best, you see;

I'm in his hands.

2.What though I cannot know the way that lies before me?

I still can trust and freely follow his commands;

My faith is firm since it is he that watches o'er me;

Of this I'm confident:

I'm in his hands.

3.In days gone by my Lord has always proved sufficient,

When I have yielded to the law of love's demands;

Why should I doubt that he would evermore be present

To make his will my own?

I'm in his hands!

drawing a line in the sand!

Lately I have felt the need to draw lines in the sand as far as my opinions and others about many of the issues of life that I seem to find myself either defending or looking at the accountability of actions.

I stand firm on my moral judgement or code, I stand with integrity and know that eventhough I make mistakes, I try my best to live up to the values that I claim to believe in.

I am proud that I'm different from most or at least seemingly most people. That I will not just follow the crowd, but stand on the values that I believe are important and not run away from the important parts of my life just to keep others happy.

I pray for those people who knock me for being who I am. I pray that they are safe and that they find happiness and fufilment in their lives. After all who am I to stop them, they have free will, I am just a humble man who looks at the eternal impact of situations rather than living the moment. One thing I am not is sorry.

Whirlwind Adventures can only define my life for a small time

It's amazing when I look over my holidays and realise that in the last two weeks, I been to three capital cities, met probably thousands of people, travelled in 5 planes and a car with only my brain and some CD's to keep myself occupied and then when I stop, my brain decides to stall and my body decides to let me get a cold. Nothing like stopping really. I suppose I am still to learn the lesson of slowing down more slowly. I am almost like the jet that decides to land on an aircraft carrier. If it doesnt stop it will just keep on zooming along the deck.

I must say that in my weekend trip to Adelaide it was great to catch up with friends that I haven't seen since leaving uni. Some of those friends were special in my life and in some ways, seeing them again just made my life feel so exciting. I missed some people I normally see this time around, but I know that I will be back over there real soon. I have once again been reminded just how much I love that city. If live takes a new direction you never know........ :P

Well I'm home! I'm back at work and in a strange way, I have missed work so much. I really am in this one for the long haul it seems :D

What a trip!

Wow!!!! I have had a crazy and inspiring week. I jetsetted to Melbourne for the second rehearsal with the Territorial Bigband. This is so fun to play in and I'm really enjoying the challenges that come with it as well as the friendship and laughs that happen along the way. I then jetsetted again early on the Sunday morning to Sydney for the Mtec2011 Conference. This was my first ever trip to Sydney and as soon as I touched down and walked out of the airport arrival area, I found myself suddenly buzzing with the high that is Sydney. I got lost in the street tyring to find where I was staying but after doing a couple of walk pasts, I noticed the sign and dumped my stuff. I then shot into the city, discovered my natural compass was working great and found myself looking at the opera house and harbour bridge in no time... Then it was on the ferrie to Manley and dinner and then home. Monday was pretty much 7am to 11pm hanging with the Mtec2011 people and I am happy that I was about to get 6 hours or so sleep a night even if my body clock was waking me up at 5am. Mtec is truly something that has inspired me on many levels. It presented a few challenges in both my teaching life and my life as a musician that I have been able to seek advice but also focus on the things I do well. I have decided that in a couple of future blogs I might share my philosphy of teaching, learning and education. It is something that before this conference I always felt was just something I should keep to myself, however it has created in me a feeling of need to share these with people as we all try and survive in this maze that is teaching and inspiring young people to make something good out of wherever they come from in life. Last night I made a decision which at the time seemed great, but afterwards although noble was probably very dangerous. Without thinking I stepped up to a person smashing a vending machine and calmly spoke to them about the actions they were commiting. I know in hindsight looking at the situation, just how close I came to being labelled a victim, but I believe it is important to although with compassion, keep people accountable of their actions. I do not know what happened to this person after they swore at me and the train guards and then went off into the night, however I hope that they can look at themselves and see that at least for that moment someone cared enough to try and assist them to make a wise choice. Others there made what I'm sure they believed to be a wise choice by not getting involved but a line was crossed and instinct took over. This trip is nearly at an end. As I write this, I am in the Qantas flyer area of the terminal with my trusty instruments sitting quietly next to me. I have a brain full of stories, experiences, questions and most of all insights into what this world of education has to offer.

Promotion to Glory for a great lady!

In the early hours of yesterday morning Heaven recieved a wonderful soul. Jean Moyle was a wonderfully lady. She was one of those ladies who never asked for anything in return for the wonderful things that she did for others, was always willing to share her knowledge and most of all was a wonderful inspiration to not only me but to everyone she interacted with. Many stories could be told about how Jean impacted the lives of others but for me it was her interest in my life that will always remain a centrepoint of my thoughts for her. If it was a kind word or even just asking what I was doing in my life, she always demonstrated to me the qualities that are to be shown in a holy and divine life. Jean you may be Heaven now with Steve but to all the people who know you, you are still in our hearts and thoughts as we feel just a little more Homesick knowing that we have to stay here for now... RIP Jean Moyle

Because He Lives

Today marked my first rehearsal with the Territorial Bigband of the Salvation Army based in Melbourne under the directorship of Brian Hogg. I've had a blast (literally and metaphorically) today and really feel that it's going to be exciting and amazing.

On the Train back into the city, the song (of course as a bigband arrangement for the future) Because He Lives was playing inside my head.

I especially Like the line of the refrain, Because He Lives I can Face Tomorrow!

Over the last few months it has been a season in which if I could just get myself motivated I knew that I would be able to face whatever was happening in my life.

I was reminded just how important it is to thank God for everything, everyday and every moment.

It is because He lives, that I can stand and face the stresses, anxieties and rejoice in the wonders that is my Life.

Today I was reminded that it's great to hang out with positive people, hopefully there are manymore of these moments to come.

BECAUSE HE LIVES, I KNOW THAT I CAN NOT ONLY FACE TOMORROW BUT LIVE IT IN HONOUR OF HIM!!!!!

A reminder for me.

LIFE IS BLESSED EVEN IN THE BAD TIMES!

A new nephew for Me came into the world today!

Liam John Maskell

8 pound 4

1.3.2011 8:20am