So another year is
about to end and I am once again sitting pondering just what to get out of this
year. The year after the 2010 or as I call it 1.5 year (maths people might get
what I mean).
2011 started just like
any other year. It started with lots of hope in a year ahead, a quest to
improve myself, and a love of people and all things music.
Then the floods came.
Now I don’t think it was big enough to get an ark and in comparison to Qld and
all that was tragic up north. It meant that I spent some time doing what I know
best, helping others who needed help rather than care about my life.
Work wise it was much
the same and although I was not to know of the challenges ahead, I was excited
about what was to be an interesting year in retrospect.
One of the rare
positives of this year, have been joining a wonderful group of young musicians
in the Territorial Big band of the Salvation Army in Melbourne. These guys and
girls are amazing in a number of ways and led by Brian they have reengaged my
love for too things sharing the gospel with whoever I see and playing the
wonderful music of Big band and Jazz. This led to some amazing moments across
the year, and has developed many good friendships along the way.
I wish looking back on
the first part of the year, that I was able to see what I see now, as this was
shaping up to be the biggest challenge that I have faced in a long time. For
those of you who follow me on Twitter and Facebook, you would have noticed
quite a dark period of my life around June and July. What many of you won’t
realise is the extent that life was eating me up. As I’m going for an honest
account, I think it’s important to share some of this with you. My Hero, the
person I have always looked up to for life advice before anyone else, the
person who to me is one of the toughest guys I know became sick, very sick.
For my family this was
something that we had never had to deal with and because it was not a physical
sickness but one of the mind, we had no idea how to deal with it, what to do,
who to turn to and how to pull ourselves out of the hole. It was really six
weeks of frustration, lots of tears, an ordeal that took a huge amount of a
toll on my physical and mental wellbeing. Luckily, there was a moment of growth
in this season of life. This moment is when I realised just how amazing some of
my friends were. They wiped the tears from my eyes, sat with me, showed me that
life will go on and most of all, showed support to my family and myself in more
ways than I could imagine and ever repay.
Professionally, I have
worked on many music projects this year. Some have involved me working for many
hours often for nothing more than seeing others do what I feel are amazing jobs
performing and displaying their skills to all that came to watch. 2012 is
shaping up to being much the same.
So how do I feel about
the end of 2011 and start of 2012? Well I am happy to see the end of 2011. I
have considered it one of my worst years in general, but can see that there are
many positives to celebrate as well.
2012 for me is
hopefully going to be a continuation of the journey that is life. I hope to
continue doing the professional aspects of my music and continue to develop my
skills and also play and write more and more for myself and others, so that I
can find some fulfilment in this amazing skill.
I hope to improve my
teaching beyond what I have already done over 2011. I’m used to going over and
beyond because I believe that is important to students and to the growth of
education, but there is a line and I haven’t quite found it in the sand yet.
Hopefully 2012 will erode it a bit for me.
I hope to find some
new friends and reignite some old friendships. I have learnt this year, that
some people I previously spent a great investment in, are maybe not the people
that I care to focus on developing life with in 2012. If this is you and you
read this, know that I have enjoyed our times together, but sometimes in life people
close doors and sometimes they are slammed shut. Sometimes the slammed doors
have woken in me a need to not try and open those doors but leave them closed.
Thankfully the slamming of some doors has led to others creaking open and those
doors I look forward to investigating in 2012.
As in all years, I
have read a lot of books, shared a lot of thoughts, given deep insight and sometimes
cracked a smile at life. I have cried, sighed, shook my head, lots fights, won
battles, learnt that life is like war but mostly in peace, fought for what I
thought was important and let the little things pass me by. I have loved, lost,
turned away, brought others closer and most of all, learnt that some things are
important in life and others, are merely steps to a greater prize.
To you I wish you all
a wonderful New Year and 2012. May the year not be one in which we regret
challenges and life, but may it be a year that we embrace those moments and
celebrate a life that hopefully gives you a greater insight to who you are,
what you want to be and how much you all mean to me.
Love you all XOX
Don.
